March 25, 2009


I'm too tired to think.
Wait, maybe not:

Marty's Universal Truths
About Being A Patient
In A Hospital:

The term "crap" is used
in this blog.
If you could be offended by
the term "crap",
please read no further.
****Secondary Caution!!!
The term "butt" is
also used -

Rule #1
Have family & friends who will visit
who are not afraid
of hospitals
or nurses
or doctors
or (possibly)
seeing your bare butt...
Make sure one or two of them
are by your side most days.
Remind friends
to let you sleep
whenever you are tired.
You are not there to
entertain them -
or they - you.

Rule #2
Post a calendar/clock
where you can see them at all times.
Mark off each day - yourself!
Keep a journal of
timely events;
such as types of medicine
and times for medicine
and the name of your daily nurse
the phone number of your room
your doctor's name
"unknown" terms to be checked later,
and start a list of
your dream foods to be enjoyed with freedom.

Rule #3
Question the doctor
about your medicines
when you can get rid of that **** catheter
about your tests
when you get your freedom,
and work very hard for
that freedom.

Rule #4
Do not put up with any crap.
Be firm, be strong, and
decide what treatment
works best for
-not your doc
-not your nurse
-not your friends/family,

Rule #5
Be careful of hospital food.
Sick people eat that stuff.
Check with your nurse;
I bet a friend can bring in food...
Enough said.
If hospital food tastes good...
You need more medicine,
because you are still sick.

Rule #6
(If they deserve it;)
be nice to your nursing/therapy staff.
They want you
back home
as much as you do.

Rule #7
Bring whatever you need:
Good slippers.
A nice robe.
Several good books.
A radio/CD player.
Lotion of choice.
Your own toothpaste/brush.
Stuffed toy?
Whoopie cushion?

Rule #8
Please shut off the TV
and keep it off.
Convince your roommate of the same.
TV will
suck your brains out
if given half a chance...

Rule #9
Get outside if at all possible.
even if it is raining.
Or snowing.
Rain/snow won't kill you -
stale air might.

Rule #10
Do everything
in your power
to stay out of hospitals.
They are not fun.
If you find yourself in one;
get better
and get out.



What would YOU do if you knew you would not fail?

(Comments from #21):

Silver Fortress said:

Hurray for leaps of faith! You and John are keeping it real - very inspiring!

Mercia said:

What a beautiful reply!

What a beautiful life!!!

(We all miss you both in France. Keep enjoying and exploring life in the Southwest:)


Globalgal said...

Really lovely! This is how I feel about my last few years. Thanks for the opportunity for happy reflection!

Your turn!
Comment or email me
and share your thoughts;
of what you would do....

If you send the thoughts
I will post them all!